It has been a day of firsts today. First shower, first sleep, first day-light public, first cooking of a meal. Through these activities we have been in a constant state of flux; one activity needs 3 of the many straps, and then another needs 2 completely different ones. This never ending cycle of clipping and strapping becomes tiresome, and Ridley begins to feel like a dead weight.
Living through Ridley and having him at the forefront of everything is feeling like an infringement of my freedom. It dictates what I do and how I do something. I am not use to putting something so reliant on myself first. Their are moments when I resent Ridley for this, however coupling these are always moments when I feel a sense of affection and bond to him. As I walk within public areas, with the feet and head attached there is a strong sense of unity and togetherness; making this journey. However in the evening we sat and watched a film, in which I was able to comfortably sit and relax with Ridley slumbed over, at this point his presence is gone. He is a dead weight, no unity, an inconvenience.
This constant change throughout the day is dictating my feelings at this point in time. Even this blog is changing through 'we' 'I' 'him', something of which I am still unsure about settling on.